The Intellectual Masturbater

"Don't knock [intellectual] masturbation, it's [intellectual] sex with someone I love." -Woody Allen
"Blogging is intellectual masturbation." -The Intellectual Masturbater

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The Budget

Chiddy spoke on the budget earlier today. It looks promising. There's talk about reducing the fiscal deficit, plumping up the infrastructure and significantly increased spending on education and health for the poor (up by 31.5% and 22%, respectively, from last year). The basic response has been positive, but the BBC's Economic Analyst Paranjoy Guha Thakurta sounds anything but positive.

Much of the money spent by the government on development schemes gets diverted by corrupt officials and subsidies meant for the poor do not reach those who need these the most.

At the same time, affluent Indians living in urban areas cities flaunt lifestyles that are comparable to those of the rich in developed countries.

However, even in cities of concrete and steel that glitter on the surface, a third of the residents live in abject poverty, denied secure jobs, social security and access to basic sanitation facilities and clean drinking water.

The challenge to alleviate the lot of India's poor remains unfulfilled.


Ok, I agree there are serious problems. And I'm the first one to be skeptical. But to see that -at least on paper- the government is trying to help the poor, strengthen infrastructure and improve literacy and public health, gives me an iota (and mind you, it's just an iota nothing more) of hope. It's probably going to be dashed to the ground anyhow, but we'll see. I think the phrase du jour is "cautious optimism."

Bush in India: Analysis

So the New York Times says that focus of Bush's India trip is to try and contain India's nuclear development. But not contain it to the point where India falls behind China. They also say that this is a bad thing. I think I agree with them. To keep up good relations with India to counterbalance the so-called Chinese presence, is short-sighted. It would be more prudent to strengthen and solidify the growing economic ties, rather than focus on the nuclear technology. Also, if India is indeed the next economic powerhouse as the hype says (although I'm skeptical - only time will tell) then this is only another reason to strengthen those ties. I also think that the hulabaloo over the nuclear tests of 1998 is a little overdone. But that's a different story for a different day...

The San Jose Mercury News agrees with the NYT that the nuclear technology discussion should not be the focus of the trip. But they also talk about something else that's interesting: Goverdhan Mehta's US visa denial. He is a top Indian chemist, science advisor to the PM and hold a bunch of other accolades. Apparently, the consular officer "submitted him to intense scrutiny, accused him of hiding things and being dishonest, and denied his visa pending further review." The SJMN says that Bush should use this opportunity to "apologize for what happened to Mehta. And he should vow to fix once and for all the visa application process to show that America remains open and welcoming to its friends in India and around the world." Nice.

The Washington Post , on the other hand, decided to talk about India's ties with Burma - "one of Asia's two (with North Korea) most brutal dictatorships." Not sure if Burma is really a hot-button issue these days...

In other news, Arundhati Roy, in all her left-winged-ness, found it prudent to point out the irony of Bush speaking from Purana Qila in Delhi. This happened, incidentally, because apparently too many MPs said they would heckle him if he spoke in Parliament.

Surprisingly, not many of the other newspapers/opinion mags have much to say about Bush's India trip. It's true it doesn't start until tomorrow, so perhaps there'll be more to think about then...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Scientists say masturbation not as good as sex

Fortunately, the article says nothing about intellectual masturbation, otherwise there's be a minor crisis on my hands...(pun intended).

Blogger.com disavows itself of any responsibility from the above joke...

Ode to a bawa...

A friend of mine just got knee surgery. This is my tribute to him:

A parsi with a flair for apotheosis,
Was convinced he had asthma and spondylosis,
While he fretted over pimples,
His disease was quite simple,
It was acute hypochondriasis.

Well, ok this time it was for real. So I hope the recovery is soon. We want your histrionics back in action, buddy!

Getting Jignesh With It...

Will Smith visits Bollywood and is "blown away" by the Big B's performance in Sarkar. He wants to call himself the 'Big W'. He also compared the Taj Mahal to a lake he built in his back yard for his wife...

Speaking of 'Big B': I was watching 'Aaj Tak' (an Indian news channel) at a friend's place and they were talking about Amitabh's recovery from the colon cancer or whatever it was that he was suffering from. The coverage was a little ridiculous. It went on for abour 30-40 minutes and there was live coverage of him leaving the hospital, arriving at his bungalow, Abhishek shooing the reporters, etc. etc. And there was also running commentary, not unlike you see on most games where the commentators just parrot what's going on on-screen as if it was a radio. I was just thinking that they should give the poor guy a break, right? Of course, some perverse part of me was glued to the screen right about until the next segment when Laloo came on.

Anyhow, the whole thing was in hindi and the funny thing was that they kept referring to Amitabh as "Big B." In fact, it got to a point where they had a little running hindi text watchamacallit at the bottom of the screen which was summarizing the commentator's words (like that was needed) and even there they called him BigB. Just BigB. Almost like his name was Mr. Bigby. I thought that was hilarious...

Hey - these are the things that get me through my day...what can I say? I'm easy to please...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Overkill?

Have you guys heard of this? Some (apparently, long-term and well-known) anti-Semite named David Irving was jailed for three years in Austria for writing a book that denied the holocaust happened. Isn't this a little ridiculous? Whatever happened to free speech?

Certainly, I'm no anti-Semite, and I'm not Jewish either, but *jailing* someone is a little extreme. A condemnation or a reprimand, even a token jail sentence would be fine, but this takes it to another level. Apart from inciting shady underground movements who already think they are "oppressed," this just gives out the wrong message overall. Especially, in the context of the recent Mohammed cartoons.

Here's what Dan Gerstein, an ex-Joe Lieberman advisor, had to say in a post entitled 'The Thought Police Live (in Austria). And here's what Andrew Sullivan had to say in a post entitled 'Free Irving'. I got both of these off NYT's Opinionator blog (credit where it's due).

And this is where I read it first: At the BBC News website.

Getting on the A -er- P-List in Hollywood

Kevin Nealon chimes in on phone-tapping in Hollywood...

You're nobody in Hollywood until you get on a list. I missed out on the Heidi Fleiss client list, Mr. Blackwell's "Worst Dressed" list and even the "Where Are They Now?" list. And the only reason I'm not on that last one is that Mr. Pellicano, apparently, always knew where I was.
Don't Stop Bugging Me

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Death by Toilet Paper

I hate to say it, but I've been close to doing such things myself...

Fla. Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper

Me, me, me, me, ME!!!

Excellent article in today's NYT about teaching undergrads.

Since I'm currently teaching a class of 60 (count 'em!) undergraduate brats - and, coincidentally, giving them an exam tomorrow - this could not come at a better time.

Having received emails like:
should i come to class tomorrow?
and
what's on da exam?
from email addresses ranging from imsosexy2362@... to snoopdawggydawgg@... I have first-hand experience of what these guys are talking about. And I'm quoting verbatim, mind you.

With an impending exam - God (if he existed) help us all. Students who don't even bother to attend suddenly wake up and expect to learn 4-5 weeks worth of material in a 30-minute review session. And, when they don't, they have the audacity to complain!

Just yesterday, one lacklustre student who rarely attends was complaining that I was going too fast in class. I told the same student to meet me after class, and while I'm explaining things to her, she decides to SMS a friend and converse across the classroom (no less) with another, at the same time. Why do I bother?

Like I always say: Teaching is like being a vet - you bend over backwards to help the animals, only to have them bite you back in the end. Ungrateful wretches!

Here's a highlight from the article:

While once professors may have expected deference, their expertise seems to have become just another service that students, as consumers, are buying. So students may have no fear of giving offense, imposing on the professor's time or even of asking a question that may reflect badly on their own judgment.

For junior faculty members, the barrage of e-mail has brought new tension into their work lives, some say, as they struggle with how to respond. Their tenure prospects, they realize, may rest in part on student evaluations of their accessibility.

And here's the article...

Thomas Friedman on the Iraq War

For those of you who follow these things, Friedman was a supporter of the war in Iraq. Here, he defends his position by starting off saying that he's not a neo-con, but a neo-liberal...

The guy consistently writes intelligent, well-informed articles about many world issues. And you probably don't know this, but he wrote an article about India's secular democracy and it's then-sputtering economy way back in 2002, before it was cool to hype India. Here's an excerpt:
The more time you spend in India the more you realize that this teeming, multiethnic, multireligious, multilingual country is one of the world's great wonders -- a miracle with message. And the message is that democracy matters.
...
No, India is not paradise. Just last February the Hindu nationalist B.J.P. government in the state of Gujarat stirred up a pogrom by Hindus against Muslims that left 600 Muslims, and dozens of Hindus, dead. It was a shameful incident, and in a country with 150 million Muslims -- India has the largest Muslim minority in the world -- it was explosive. And do you know what happened?

Nothing happened.

The rioting didn't spread anywhere. One reason is the long history of Indian Muslims and Hindus living together in villages and towns, sharing communal institutions and mixing their cultures and faiths. But the larger reason is democracy. The free Indian press quickly exposed how the local Hindu government had encouraged the riots for electoral purposes, and the national B.J.P. had to distance itself from Gujarat because it rules with a coalition, many of whose members rely on Muslim votes to get re-elected. Democracy in India forces anyone who wants to succeed nationally to appeal across ethnic lines.

Published way back in the NYT on August 14, 2002.

Anyhow, below are his views on Iraq. This was written in October, 2005. Ok, I'm a little slow in picking up these things, but it's still makes for an interesting read.

On Iraq: What Was I Thinking? Here's What.

PS. Unfortunately, you need to be a TimesSelect member to view the article.

Monday, February 20, 2006

A Pop Quiz on Marriage

Stephanie Coontz tests your knowledge on marriage, its history and perceptions of society to marriage in the western world. Take a look - you'll be surprised. Or maybe not...
On the NYT Op-Ed page yesterday.

Marx and the Blogosphere

A very interesting article by Andrew Keen about how "Web 2.0" - the idea that the new internet is now all about empowering people by letting them express themselves through blogs, etc. - is like Marx's version of communism. By seducing people to be writers in the morning, musicians in the afternoon and film directors in the evening, this new Web 2.0 creates a "cultural flattenening."

Frankly, I think it's all bunk. By giving people the means to express themselves, you are not "flattening" the culture with white noise. In fact, I don't think it's going to change anything. Just because X, Y and Z can express their opinions freely online does not mean that their opinions or writings are diluted in any way. This technology provides another easier, and cheaper way to allow everyone (including stupid people) to disseminate their opinion. But it also allows me - as a discerning, analytical, critical, intelligent (I'll stop now, lest I get carried away...) - to ignore X and Y's opinion just as easily as I would listen to Z's. By that logic, we should have banned the photocopier years ago...

Read the whole article here at the CBS News website.
Or go to Andrew Keen's blog at The Great Seduction .

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Dick Cheney's wraith

This is what the Gawker had to say about Cheney's shooting:
In order to keep Harry Whittington's body from succumbing to the shotgun injuries inflicted upon him by its master, Vice President Dick Cheney's demonic wraith today left his own body and entered the body of Mr Whittington in order to keep it in a state of undeadness.

The Vice President's wraith, which is known to be able to harness the dark forces of Abaddon and move through space and time at will, as well as shift residence into multiple flesh receptacles, was utterly repentant about saturday's hunting accident when Mr Cheney inflicted serious injuries upon Mr Whittington, who was shooting birds by his side. After hospital authorities informed Mr Cheney that his friend might not make it through the night, his wraith rose up to the occasion and sliding out of the VP's mortal remains in the form of an oil slick, made it's way into Mr Whittington's body, thus keeping it alive for the moment.
...
In other news, Walt Disney Pictures and Pixar Studios have halted the production of their latest cartoon offering based on the Prophet Mohammed's life, citing "a slow market".
Full Story here

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Wolf in comedian's clothing...

Did you guys see the In DC blog yesterday? This is hilarious...

It's a kind of magic

An opposition party member has accused a Congress (party in power) party member of burning currency - which is a punishable (up to 5 years) offence in India. But the Congress party member was doing a magic trick!

Mr Rao [the magician] said the paper that was burned was not a banknote.

Mr Chary [the accomplice] also denied the banknote was burned. He told the BBC it was like demanding a murder charge for the magician's trick of cutting a person in two and then producing them alive.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/4713116.stm

Do people really have no work?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

America's Biggest Dick

So Cheney shot someone. And they waited almost a whole day before telling everyone. If it hadn't leaked through the locals, we may never have known. Of course, the liberals are having a field-day with it. But I think the best response was from the Daily Show's "Vice-President Firearms Mishap Analyst," Rob Corddry...

Stewart: Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

Corddry: Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Whittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush. And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face.

Stewart: But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?

Corddry: Jon, in a post-9/11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak.

Stewart: That's horrible.

Corddry: Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know "how" we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little "covey" of theirs.

Stewart: I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob.

Corddry: Well, whatever it is they do -- coo -- they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

Massacre Valentine's Day

If you want to save some money this year, try being erudite with your girlfriend. Quote something from the LA Times editorial page:

EDITORIAL
Massacre Valentine's Day

ST. VALENTINE WAS SUPPOSEDLY a martyred 3rd century priest, not a shill for the flower industry or a marketing genius for a certain Kansas City, Mo., greeting-card titan. Still, with all due respect to his martyrdom, we think it's high time the holiday bearing his name be abolished.

Call us hopeless romantics on this page, but we find that true love is overwhelming, irrepressible and spontaneous. Romance shouldn't be confined to a particular day; nor need it be triggered by the arrival of Feb. 14. Compulsory love is an oxymoron.

Good luck with that...

Actually, there's more in there. If that doesn't cause some domestic disturbance, maybe you're not in love:

Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher said her research suggests that Prozac, Zoloft and other antidepressants may be keeping millions of Americans from falling head over heels. According to her theory, the medications stave off depression by regulating the exact part of the brain's neurochemistry associated with the mad feelings of new love.

Time to cut down on the Prozac, perhaps?

Here's the link: http://tinyurl.com/8plan

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Where was YOUR ass made?

So this was posted on a pretty well-known university's Chinese student listserv (it's genuine).
-------- Original Message --------
Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2006 07:40:44 -0800
Sender: Chinese Community Communication List
From: [sender deleted]
Subject: immigration law

my Taiwanese friend is looking for good Chinese
speaking immigration lawyer. Can you recommend one?
Harmless enough, in and of itself. And the reply?
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: immigration law
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2006 12:30:38 -0800
From: [sender deleted]
To: Chinese Community Communication List

Why do you intentionally stress that your friend is
from taiwan? Do you believe in your heart that his
smart taiwanese ass is superior than your own? Do you
think it is nature that any one with a non-Chinese ass
deserves your special attention and care? Let me put
in a plain way that the stupid & proud you could
understand: IF, unfortunately your friend has instead
a domestic ass made in China, are you willing to
render your same hospitality and help here?
Before you jump on your soap-box, one must remember to be thankful for these things because where else would we get our entertainment?

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Political Correctness

interesting article from a couple of days ago by tunku varadarajan in the wsj (read: conservative). in spite of the overt right-leaning, i think i agree with him. political correctness has gone too far crossing over into sectarian politicking...
On Tuesday, Antonio Villaraigosa, the Democratic alcalde (or mayor) of Los Angeles, delivered to his city a "Respuesta al Estado de la NaciĆ³n"--a response in Spanish to President Bush's State of the Union address. This alternative discourse, this act of ethno-political affectation, should lead us all to think upon some questions: What, and where, are the limits to civic Otherness in America?

Why not a gay response? A Teamster response? A vegan response? A gangsta response? More nitty-grittily: Why not a response in Farsi or Korean--languages spoken by people toward whom Mr. Villaraigosa has no fewer mayoral duties than he does toward his Hispanophones? There is, also, a radical question from which there should be no glib escape: If response there must be from the mayor of Los Angeles, why not one in plain old English?

I am a first-generation migrant to this country. I believe that in settling abroad, foreigners make a brutal contract with their land of adoption. They may speak their language, eat their food and practice their religion--but at home or by private arrangement. That is as far as I would go with multiculturalism. All else--including an insistence on a public affirmation of ethnic frills and fancies--cripples the process of integration.
that's the first 3 paras, more here

The First Post

From the title of this blog, it should be apparent what this is about: Intellectual Masturbation. By which I mean, it's really no different from other blogs. Just that it has a name with masturbation in it...